I have been home from college for almost a year now and I realized something kind of sad; making friends after college is so hard! I didn’t put much thought into the idea, because up until now, it has been fairly easy to make friends. Before college, I went to the same school with the same people for most of my life, or I would make friends in my classes as I got promoted to the next level of my education. Then when I moved away for college, I met a lot of people my age in my situation; we were all away from home and looking to find new friends. College was so much fun and it was easy to meet new people. The most I had to do was look next to me in class or go knock on the neighbors door. Now that I’m home, it is so much harder.
Yes I have friends from when I was growing up, but the big dilemma with that is they either moved away for school and decided to stay there, or they grew unto people that I don’t know and/or relate to anymore. I do have a handful of friends I still hang out with, but it isn’t like before. Some of the friends I have now don’t have some of the same interests as me, but we still maintain a solid friendship. For example, I like to check out different bars and nightlife, but one of my friends doesn’t like that scene, which is totally fine, but it does limit some of the activities we can do together. They also aren’t as active as I am, so it’s not like I can suggest going on a hike or a long walk on the beach to talk. Our hang outs consist of shopping or lunch. Nothing wrong with it, but if I get an itch to go for a drink at a bar I like or go for a hike, I know I can’t ask them. Making new friends is no cake walk either.
A lot of people out of college make new friends through work, but I personally am having a hard time. I went to school to become a teacher and because of my name change (a story I will write another time) I have yet to receive my credential. I haven’t been able to apply for full time jobs, so until I recently started substitute teaching, I have been working as a server. The only downfall is that the people I work with are either in high school or they are older than I am and in a different stage of life. Only about 3 people are my age, but they are parents who don’t have much time outside of work to maintain a new friendship. The people I currently work with are just not in the same place as me. They are great people, just not people I connect with or have much in common with. So I haven’t personally made friends through work, but I am hopeful that when I start my teaching career I will find more like minded people to connect with. In the mean time, I have decided to give social media a try.
In this day in age, social media is one of the most common ways to connect with people. When my mom lived in Canada, she used a website called MeetUp to try to find some new friends. Since I am trying to meet new people, I decided to download the app version. It is really weird for me to try; I have yet to go to one of the meet ups because I am scared. It is so nerve wracking to go to one these events; I don’t know these people. What if they are weird, dangerous or I don’t belong? It is hard to put my faith in something so freely. I don’t want to go and be disappointed in the experience. I am also a very shy person, so going to something and not knowing anyone in it is hard for me. It take time for me to open up to people, especially when the group is so large. I want to try to meet with people in the group one on one first, but some of these groups have over 300 people in it. Social Media makes it easy to meet a lot of people, but sometimes it is just too overwhelming.
This adjustment isn’t a bad thing; it pushes me out of my comfort zone and try new things. It just makes me long for my college years when socializing was so easy. Everyone wanted to make friends and meet new people, but now that I’m home everyone around me just wants to be alone and do their own thing. While social media is great, I think it made people rely on it too much. People want to meet through their phones rather than organically through real life experiences. It is a challenge for me too; it is hard to break that barrier and start a conversation with someone you don’t know. This is a challenge that personally accept, and I hope others will take this challenge too.
Young and Confused 