This week I received an offer for my first real “adult” job. I put quotations because this is the first job I have taken where I needed to use my college degree. While every job is important and deserves to be seen in a professional light, until now, I have always had part-time, high school and college level jobs. The only qualifications I needed was a basic level of reading and math. I have had many retail jobs, and in recent years, I’ve been a server. Every job I have had has taught me something important for my future, but I always knew that one day my time at those locations would end. While I loved these jobs that got me through late high school and college, I never wanted these jobs for my career. My career, my calling in life, was always to become a teacher.
This week, I was offered a substitute teaching position at a school district that I have been wanting to work with for a long time now. While this is not a full-time teaching position with my own classroom, this is the first job I have been offered that gets me closer to my career. With this offer, a lot of emotions and thoughts run through my head. The first and obvious emotion is excitement; excitement in getting my foot in the door with a district I love and getting my career started. I have wanted to be a teacher since I was 8 years old, so getting started on fulfilling my lifelong dream is extremely exciting. With all of this joy also comes a lot of nerves. While I can’t wait to get started working in a classroom, I cant help but feel nervous; what if I mess up? What if I say the wrong thing? What if the district doesn’t like me and I don’t get a full time job? With all these doubts, it’s easy to get lost in though and spiral. With every bad thought, I try to reassure myself. I am going to make mistakes, its all apart of being human. While I will make mistakes, I know right from wrong well enough to know it won’t be that bad. If the district doesn’t like me, then it is just not the place I am meant to be. One thing that I have learned this week is that being an adult comes with a lot of mixed feelings.
Up until recently, I haven’t really felt like an adult. I went through 5 years of college to get to where I am now (4 years for my BA, 1 year with the credentialing program) but I never really felt like an adult during that time. I lived on my own, but I was financially taken care of (I know how lucky I am to have wonderful parents who took care of me throughout college). I didn’t need to worry about bills or rent, I just focused on school. I felt like an unsupervised high schooler. After college I moved back home with my parents and worked as a server until this week. This is the first adult job I have been offered, and with it came a lot of growing up. Leading up with this moment, I made a linked in profile, built my professional resume, went shopping for proper interview clothes, and designed my business cards and received them today. All of these experiences made me grow up in ways I didn’t realize I needed. As I embark on this new chapter in my life, I know I will grow in many ways. I cannot wait to see what this substitute job will teach me. Until then, I’m going to keep drinking from my “Adulting is hard” cup and complain how much laundry and cleaning I have to do.
Young and Confused 